Boxing
On March the 26th, 2011, two of Stoke Newingtons least likeable alt.wierdos will beat the crap out of each other on March the 26th! Why? Why would they do that? For YOUR entertainment, you lucky ducks, that’s why.
The promoter, John Rooney has allowed the speedy and ambitious street fighter “Dirty” Davie McGhee (Lightweight) to fight against violence & pain enthusiast Alias Cummins (Middleweight) “The Warlock” in a rule-bending catchweight contest – that’s almost a 42 pounds weight difference!
Here’s Davie MacGhee’s last fight, which he won on points:
Alias, on the other hand, didn’t do too well last time…
However, there’s been a lot of time spent training on both sides. Both fighters have since trained with England Olympic boxing coach Terry Edwards, and Alias has taken time to learn some moves from former Ultimate Fighting Champion Chuck Liddell.
“My training has been so much better this time around – I’m faster, stronger, more coordinated, my defense is better and I have a natural weight advantage. I’ve been looking after myself well and have almost completely stopped drinking. It’s gonna be as one-sided as an English parliamentary debate on internet censorship! Wait… isn’t that no-sided?” – Alias Cummins
Davie MacGhee, on the other hand, has been apparently not taking this contest seriously, in typical punk rock style, and has been concentrating on trash talk, making excuses not to take the fight, and not bothering to show up for press conferences.
Not content with showing total disrespect to the coaches, promoters and those who had the good grace to support him and see him through this far, MacGhee has embarked on a bitter war of words with his opponent (who initially agreed to the bout as a friendly contest) Alias Cummins.
“middleweight my arse-when you see the chubby git youll relise(sic) that bollocks!” – Davie MacGhee
“I would never lose to a goth!” – Davie MacGhee
In a leaked off-the-record statement to whitecollarboxing.tv, Alias said:
“I’m tired of people thinking that goths will just take any abuse and be pushed around by any dickhead with a mohawk. We’re civilised people, but everybody has a tipping point. You never call a goth fat – it’s just not done, even if the guy weighs 23 stone!”
STOP PRESS:
We’ve just heard that Slimelight London will be offering free admission after the fight (subject to dress code) for any goth types brave enough to show up and support Alias on the night.
Tickets are £25, with free admission to Slimelight London (London’s longest running alternative club) afterwards.